i’ve discovered the secret of existence.

i have no idea what the secret of existence is, but at some point in the early hours of sunday morning at the STL lock-in i turned to Jimmy and told him i did. maybe it was the sheer magnitude of party we were experiencing. maybe i’d reached a point of sleep deprived and stimulant induced nirvana that resulted in some sort of sitori during which i touched the face of god while boarding the vengabus and dodging dodgeballs thrown by inebriated bourbon-wielding roller skaters. or maybe we were just all realllllll messed up.

the whole weekend was a blur. i was in town early because of work, so i managed to get my party on thursday, friday, saturday and sunday. i’ve been a shriveled shell of a man all week which is why this post has been delayed.

work consisted of visiting a hospital for a couple days in east st. louis. not that spectacular or interesting to those of you in the poloverse, however, i have since learned from francis (stl) that east st. louis has only two reliable sources of income – strip clubs and prostitution. so it’s a good thing i did my part by starting the party off at ‘larry’s house’ as my boss called it.

not really my environs, but it was $2 beers because it was a snow day … as in it was snowing outside. those women were desperate and it was insane. felt like a scene from devil’s adovcate. notice the daylight … it was 3:30 pm. from there i caught a blues game, won $80 at the casino and passed out.

friday was when the craziness began. everyone started getting to town and by 6pm francis (stl) and i had finished the bottle of early times 357 i brought. dinner was at plush with the pitt crew and some stl folk. from there it was the handlebar to receive everyone else, lots of drinking, pool hustling and then finally a locale change to the gay bar next door. i won’t even elaborate on that any more other than to say that those of us who were in town on friday partied until the bars closed and danced into the morning. it turned out to be good practice for the lock-in.

saturday brought the lock-in and i managed to grab jimmy and zach from the train station in time for us to make it to the skatium on time this year. as soon as we set foot inside, i was greeted by the scent of stale cigarettes and wet ass, but that subsided pretty quick once LEX arrived with our shipment of country club malt liquor. if you haven’t tried it, you should. it’s AMAZING and CHEAP.

i won’t even try to explain what happened over the next 24 hours because honestly there are gaping holes in my memory and certain things are blurry or just have to be experienced. my brain still feels like an apple full of worms.

here’s what i rememeber: dumptruck eating enchilada sauce (idiot), lomax’s pupils, lomax sleeping, sarah requesting sandwiches, sarah’s kissing booth, $2 u-call-its, vengaboys (i hate that song), sliding, falling, bourbon, country club, the devil’s pretzels, sandwich orgy, couch sprawl, polo, a pinata, roller skating, cold, people sleeping, secret rooms, iphones with orange dust, credit cards, temporary tattoos, american flag, irrelvant scoreboards, bad parenting, bad examples, fireball, jim beam, custom bikes, snuggling, crashes, baseball cards and friends. and a shit ton of partying.

here’s some of what i saw:

since we’re cheap and don’t have video on here -

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=10100104563825434&notif_t=video_processed

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=10100104580417184&ref=notif&notif_t=video_processed

i’m sure the others will add their two cents. we have shirts coming soon. and koozies for those in need.

in other news … andrew w.k. is going to be touring again this year. playing nothing but the entirety of ‘i get wet.’ grandpa and i are gonna be there with bells on.

- magoo.